Journal!

I just finished an amazing workshop, which is held by Education Department, only for English alternative military. This is a 3-days and 2-nights workshop at 櫻花渡假村 in Ping tong, arranged by 崇文國小. It is good for me to meet up other 116ts again. I had talked a lot and shared my unique experience with others. Honestly, I feel shamed after talking with them since I heard that they had done many meaningful things for their schools and students. They said that they were busy on co-teaching with foreign teachers. Unlike them, I only do remedial teaching and only prepare games for students in class, cuz I don't want them to pissed me off in class, such as bad performance on prepared test. Or, I am just lazy and tired of devote myself teaching them.  I don't know. When I was taking workshop in Chenchien lake, I had a lot of ideas for my students. But, once I got in the school, they were gone. I couldn't have my passion anymore. I don't know how long it takes to get it back. Maybe, I am a selfish person, who only focus on his own, such as studying in financial knowledge. I am far away from my students and never try to listen to them with an expectation of what they should know or do everything. That is why I felt shameful after hearing from other 116ts' experiences. I wish I could have done many things, too.

Where is my passion for my students? In fact, I have much passion for financial knowledge. How could I turn it into my students? it is kind of difficult for me tho.

Btw, one year ago, I can write a 600-words essay in 30 minutes, but now I can't even write a journal. WTF.

Journal

In the course of three months, I have done nothing. There isn't anything I have gotten, but my attitude changed. In the past, I rushed and pushed myself to get what I am longing for. Now, I kicked myself out of target, slowing down myself and putting me in a position without uncertainty. I live in routinely schedule and lose in a steady path. Life is boring, but has no ways to change. Pursuant to law, I have to. So, I have done nothing. Surprisingly, I can smile and get greater motivation in this fucking shit. I don't feel hatred of this shit. Indeed, it is a shit if nothing I can physically get. I can only take shits from everyone in daily life. But, sometimes taking shits encourages me, especially for an immovable shit. Take and eat it, that is the only way.
Despite the fact that I have gotten nothing, I would like to say I strength my mentality that I wasn't paying attention before. I've thought that I could be successful as long as I devote myself learning knowledge. In fact, the most powerful knowledge is mentality. Look back to 1960s, people lived in a tougher situation. Look now, we have a much better living standard than before, but we sucks. We lose our intrinsic value in a great pace of development. We lose our mentality while obtaining physical modern masterpiece. I think I have already found a way to learn what perseverance is.